Who said Chicken shows are fun?
I’ll be glad when it’s over and done.
My troubles all started a couple of days ago.
When they got me ready for this stupid Show.
First they caught me and put a band on my leg,
Didn’t matter to them if I squawked and beg.
Then they checked my feet and pulled every stub,
Next came the bath, Oh, hell, how they did scrub.
The rinse water was chilly and cold,
All I could do was close my eyes and scold.
My toenails were clipped and sanded with care,
My comb was oiled, to make me look so fair.
Next was a cage, where I shivered and shook,
What else did they, I didn’t dare look.
After a few hours I started to dry,
Maybe the worse is over, I thought with a sigh.
With me in a carrying case, we went to the Show.
There was hundreds of cages, all in a row.
Once in my cage, I looked to my left, then to my right,
Down the row some big dude let out a crow and wanted to fight.
Here comes some guy, in a coat so white,
With a stick in his hand, he’s a frightful sight.
He stops at my cage and I wonder what he’s going to do.
If he opens my door, I think I’ll crap on his shoe.
I’m pulled from my cage in a look of despair,
My thoughts about this judge, I wouldn’t share.
He looks me in the eye and spreads my wings,
Then turns me over an checks my private things.
People walk by and stop and stare,
I look back and don’t even care.
Then they point their finger and pick me apart,
That’s when it hurts and jerks at my heart.
Then they pass out the ribbons and I get a fifth place,
That dumb judge has got to be off base.
If someone would holler, “Coop Out”
I’d get outta here without a doubt.
Then it’s back in that carrying case again,
Gee, I’d like to be back in my own little pen.
I’d get on my perch for a good night’s rest,
But today, I can say, I’ve showed with the best.
Tonight I’ll snuggle up close to my favorite hen
And let her know it’s good to be home again.
But throughout all these troubles, you all should know,
I hope the Lord grants me “One More Chicken Show.”
A Bird’s Eye View By: Clyde Montgomery